True Love

“Without love, there is no life, life is full of love, if you see in a proper way, if you understand life you see love from everywhere. Many times in our life there is a lot of false attractions, we think that is love, but when you meet someone you feel something from your heart. When you feel the connection to someone, and the same from the other side that becomes true love.

Once that connection is there, it will stay forever, for a long time, this is true love. Certain times we think we are in love with someone, but after sometime it fades away, the love will fade after a period of time. True love stays very strong inside us …” - Sharath Jois, 15th September 2018

The love dilemma.

I am opening this blog with an article on love, not just any love, but true love. The essence of life. Whether we realise it or not, love is EVERYTHING, love is EXISTENCE. We are made of it, we are surrounded by it, we feed off of it, and it motivates every single action we do, be it manifested positively or negatively. And yet, even when our lives is all about love, it is one of the most misunderstood and misused words of our day. It is commonly confused with obsession, infatuation, craving, need, desire, want, and even used with blasé in the superficial world without thought, only to bring its value to naught. However, most commonly, it is confused with being “in-love”, which is an egotistical giving of attention with expectation in return to temporarily fill a void mistaken as happiness. The associated emotional rollercoaster of being in-love undeniably makes for entertaining movies, but not much else. Neither love nor happiness is a void to be filled, both are endless deep wells that exists within us. 

“True love is not something you need to attain from outside our body or mind, it is an independent state of being which expands into all we experience…”

Some of us fear love it so much that we build walls, run away from it or even convince ourselves we don’t need it. It’s also a common phenomenon we see in our relationship with food. Our relationship with love requires, just like everything else in life, an acceptance. Acceptance that true love is the sustenance of our soul, just as food is the sustenance of our body. Acceptance of what is, is the first step to a healthy relationship, to deny it is to starve our soul. However unlike food, its source is not external. True love is not something you need to attain from outside our body or mind, it is an independent state of being which expands into all we experience in this life. Once we accept that the giving and receiving of love is the basic building block towards happiness, we start our relationship with love on a good foot. 

Searching in all the wrong places.

‘True’ in true love implies unchanging, a sense of permanency. Nothing from the material world is permanent. Nothing from the emotional world is permanent. True love therefore cannot be gained from neither things or feelings from others. 

Once we can be comfortable without external distractions, realise that there is no needing of anything outside ourselves to live a fulfilling life, we arrive at being comfortable with ourselves. When you can sit on the couch without the tv on, or 10 meters from your phone and not worry about it, stop making constant appointments or planning of events or places to go, or being surrounded by people be it an endless flow of friends each day or partners every year, its a great start. It’s amazing how much we do to avoid ourselves, more now than ever. The first step towards True Love is to be happy being without. When the needing stops, the self discovery starts. Where there is self discovery coupled with honesty we have authenticity. True love begins right there, accepting and loving ourselves enough to be authentic and genuine. Once this happiness is tapped into, it will spill into all aspects in life, so that we make recognise it in others, make better decisions to preserve it internally, and if we are lucky walk along side another that is independently working on tapping into their well of happiness for themselves. 

7 Steps to finding True Love:

Step #1 remove distractions

Step #2 be comfortable alone

Step #3 believe you deserve to be in a state of true love

Step #4 communicate honest & authentic manner to yourself and others

Step #5 have an activity that allows self-exploration & independent happiness

Step #6 as a now happy & confident person, use that happiness to find acceptance & beauty in others

Step #7 you found a state of true love

True Love is everywhere. True Love is in each one of us.

Once you have found true love inside you, you will then have the opportunity to share true love with another. Stop searching for true love, because you have it, you always had and always will. It has always been there with you, inside you. Grasp it let it flow into all you choose to have in your life.